so much to learn......

All weekend I have read, blogs, websites, receipes, and any and everything else about diabetes. The blogs by moms with T1 children are helpful. I have so much to learn. This is a very frustrating and complicated diease.  It's my job to keep Emmy healthy and keep her numbers where they need to be. As one mom put it, I am her pancrease now, in a weird sort of way. It is a big, and demanding job. One mistake and her numbers can go way up or way down. It is constantly on my mind. There are so many decisons. Is this food good for her? How many carbs are in this? How much insulin should I give her? Should we get her a pump? Which pump would be the best? Can she have this, right now? Those are just a few of them.  I am doing my best, but is that good enough?? People keep saying, " before long, it will be so routine, you won't even have to think about it." Really???? I don't see that day coming for a long, long time. She is handling it so good. She hasn't complained or argued about anything. She did ask me last night if she would have diabetes forever. When I said, "yes," she had a pitiful look on her face and kept playing with her toy. I wonder what is going through her mind. This all happened so suddenly. One day she is thirsty and tired, the next, she is in the hospital, getting finger pokes and shots, constantly. She has felt good, ever since we got home from the hospital. She and Landon have been getting along unusually well. She has spent the night with my mom a couple of times too. I can tell when her numbers are high or low. When they are high she gets very sensative and kind of aggresive. When they low she is tired. But, for the most part, you would never know she had diabetes from being around her. Which is better. If she has to have a diease, I'm glad it's an invisable one.