Thursday, January 26, 2012

1st doctor appt.

This is a picture of Emmy's door. She puts a sticker on it everytime she gets a finder prick or shot. This was after just 2 weeks.

Emmy had her follow up appt. today, from the hospital. I really like her dr. She is very down to earth and easy to talk to. She said that Emmy is doing good. We don't need to change anything right now. She is still in the honeymoon phase. I'm really dreading for that to be over. Hopefully, it will be a long time from now. I pray for a miracle that her pancreas won't cometely shut down. Emmy amazes me more and more everyday. She is handleing everthing so good. Thank God, she is so tough. She does have her moments when she says," I don't want to have diabetes. Landon is lucky, he doesn't have to get shots." That breaks my heart. We were chosen by the hospital as a miracle family for the children's miracle network. We did our interview for the radio, yesterday. I feel good helping the hospital. It's a fun opportunity for Emmy too. She is doing very good at PDO. Right before the diagnoses she was so moody and did not want to go. Now, she feels better and is enjoying going. Her teacher said she can tell a difference too. I go to her school and check her before lunch then give her a shot afterwards, if needed. All the other kids have a ton of questions, but it doesn't seem to affect Emmy.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

so much to learn......

All weekend I have read, blogs, websites, receipes, and any and everything else about diabetes. The blogs by moms with T1 children are helpful. I have so much to learn. This is a very frustrating and complicated diease.  It's my job to keep Emmy healthy and keep her numbers where they need to be. As one mom put it, I am her pancrease now, in a weird sort of way. It is a big, and demanding job. One mistake and her numbers can go way up or way down. It is constantly on my mind. There are so many decisons. Is this food good for her? How many carbs are in this? How much insulin should I give her? Should we get her a pump? Which pump would be the best? Can she have this, right now? Those are just a few of them.  I am doing my best, but is that good enough?? People keep saying, " before long, it will be so routine, you won't even have to think about it." Really???? I don't see that day coming for a long, long time. She is handling it so good. She hasn't complained or argued about anything. She did ask me last night if she would have diabetes forever. When I said, "yes," she had a pitiful look on her face and kept playing with her toy. I wonder what is going through her mind. This all happened so suddenly. One day she is thirsty and tired, the next, she is in the hospital, getting finger pokes and shots, constantly. She has felt good, ever since we got home from the hospital. She and Landon have been getting along unusually well. She has spent the night with my mom a couple of times too. I can tell when her numbers are high or low. When they are high she gets very sensative and kind of aggresive. When they low she is tired. But, for the most part, you would never know she had diabetes from being around her. Which is better. If she has to have a diease, I'm glad it's an invisable one.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Back to PDO

For the first time since the diagnose, Brien and I almost forgot to give Emmy her long lasting insulin before bed last night. OMG! She was already in bed, when I remembered. On a good note, she slept in her OWN bed all night. YAY! This has been an on going battle for some time. Emmy went back to PDO today. I was very nervous. Since we are so new to this I want to check her and give the insulin. I volunteer at my sons school from 11:00-11:20. I went home to get all the things I needed to check Emmy and give her insulin if needed. (We had already counted all the carbs in her lunchbox the night before.) I get there with one test strip. I pricked her finger and didn't get enough blood on the strip so it read error. Ugh!! I go into panic mode. What do I do now??? Emmy says she wants to eat at school, so I rush home to get more strips. She sits there, starving, ( she can't eat until I check her) waiting on me. I get back check her, 165, she eats ever bit of her lunch, I give her a shot kiss her bye, and rush to the grocery store. Whew!! What a day. She seemed to have had a fun day despite the lunch ordeal.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Diabetes sucks!!!

Well, I'm a blogger now. Why? Because my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last week and I feel like I should keep some kind of journal. Don't expect fancy writing, perfect grammar, good spelling/punctuation. Im just an ordinary mom dealing with the shock of finding out my 4 1/2 year old daughter has a disease. Last week was the worst week of my life. We went to the hospital on tues., and left on thurs. We came home completely changed. Our lives now consists of counting carbs, checking blood sugar, and giving insulin injections. At first, I was incredibly sad. I could not hold back the tears. My heart was breaking for my sweet baby girl. Now, I'm pissed. Why? Why did this happen? Why does she and/or any person have to live their life like this?? She doesn't deserve this, no one deserves this. But then, I'm reminded, this can be managed. It could be worse, it could be much worse. Emmy is much stronger than me. From day one she has been so stubborn, and strong willed. Now we know why God gave her those traits. She can do this and so can I. It's hard, very hard. And it's not fair.